You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey
You: Hi!
Stranger: asl
You: 39 m what's "L?"
Stranger: petafile freak get a life
You: Wait, are you mad at me?
You: What's "petafile?"
Stranger: your so dam old to go on this web site
You: Yeah, but I only have a few grey hairs at my temples.
Stranger: wat coler are your pubes
You: Thankfully, still chestnut brown.
Stranger: freaky old bitch
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey
You: Hi!
Stranger: 19 f here
You: I'm a thirty-nine-year old man in the USA!
You: Where are you?
Stranger: indonesia
You: Is that near Michigan?
Stranger: no
You: Sorry, I'm really bad at geometry.
Stranger: horrible
You: Do you have cable TV where you are?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: Hi!
You: My name is Michael. I'm 39. I live in the USA!
You: What about you?
Stranger: France? Deutschland? Österreich? Italy? Spain?
You: No, none of those places. Just the USA, although my in-laws visited Italy a few years ago.
Stranger: okay
You: They had a great time.
Stranger: how old are you?
You: 39.
You: How old are you?
Stranger: 15
You: Great. That's a terrific age for learning.
You: Do you go to high school?
Stranger: yés
Stranger: fuck youz
You: Wait - what?
You: Are you mad at me?
Stranger: no
You: Oh, for a second there I thought you said, "fuck you." But that was probably just a mistake.
Stranger: someone other has written this
You: Where are you?
Stranger: i am at school
You: On Saturday?
Stranger: its Tuesday
You: It's Saturday here in the USA.
Stranger: no Wednesday
Stranger: that cannot be
You: Maybe I have my days messed up. I thought it was Saturday. No wonder my boss called so angry!!!
Stranger: youre trying to piss me off are you?
You: Oh my gosh, no!
You: Why are you on this site? I like to meet new people.
Stranger: come stai
You: I don
You: I don't understand what that means.
Stranger: liar you sayd youve been to italy
You: No, I said my in-laws went to Italy. They had a great time.
Stranger: in laws?
Stranger: whats that?
You: Yes, my wife's parents. We sent them to Italy for a present. It cost $$$!
Stranger: ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Stranger: pensa magna non sunt, sed nonulli discipoli stulti sunz
Stranger: *sunt
Stranger: sun of a beach
You: Wait, before you said "fuck you," and now "son of a bitch." Maybe you don't know what these words mean in english.
Stranger: no no not son of a bitch i mean sun of a beach
You: Oh.
You: Are you in Italy right now?
Stranger: no
Stranger: fuck your mother
You: I really think you're trying to insult me now.
Stranger: if so what would you do?
You: I would be very disappointed because I thought you seemed like a nice young person.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
In the first convo... were you talking to someone from 1996? DID YOU TIME TRAVEL MICHAEL IAN BLACK?????
Posted by: aimee | November 24, 2010 at 11:23 AM
The entire time I was reading this, I just kept thinking, 'What in the fuck is Omegle.com?' Now I have my answer and I simply must know, was this some sort of social experiment or an excuse to ignore the kids on a fine autumn day?
Posted by: Jessica | November 24, 2010 at 09:10 PM
These made me LOL. I love Omegle, haha!
Posted by: suzanna | November 24, 2010 at 09:19 PM
Nice conversation, it made me lol!
Have a fun Thanksgiving!!!!
Posted by: CYNTHIA DRAN | November 25, 2010 at 12:20 AM
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: hi
Stranger: asl?
You: 22 m us
Stranger: what brought ya here?
You: michael ian black's blog
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Posted by: James Gingold | November 25, 2010 at 12:23 AM
Thanks for post. Last month I just think that maybe I am the most unlucky one on omegle. But now I find you. Why some of my friends could met good guys there?
Posted by: golf trolley | November 25, 2010 at 08:32 PM
A. maz. ing. I like all the exclamation points you used.
Posted by: The Naked Redhead | November 26, 2010 at 04:03 PM
Mike, you rock at finding stuff to do to entertain yourself.
Here's hoping you continue engaging strangers using that "naive" persona. This and your tweets with "simplehotgirl", were hysterical.
Posted by: Reen | November 27, 2010 at 02:21 AM
petafile=39 yr old man who gets off eating veggieburgers
Posted by: Pip | December 05, 2010 at 03:41 PM
Stranger: Hi
Stranger: asl
You: 19 m usa
Stranger: 16 f canada
Stranger: I like older guys :O
You: What is the gaping mouth supposed to mean?
Stranger: It's where I want your cock to be
You: Oh, I see.
Stranger: How big is it?
You: Lengthwise?
Stranger: Yes
You: 5.5 inches
Stranger: You suck
Partner has disconnected
Posted by: haha | December 05, 2010 at 03:45 PM
Dear Petafile Freak,
Thanks for sharing your brave world wide web adventures. Glad you didn't end up with Chris Hansen walking in with a film crew as you try to hide the wine coolers and strawberry-flavored condoms.
Your funny makes me happy.
I gotta disconnect now.
Posted by: Steph | December 07, 2010 at 06:55 PM
All I can say about three conversations is.. You're better than that, MIB! But I really wanted to comment on Michael & Michael - ever so belatedly. I love the premise, and abandoning it is a travesty- (That's right, strong language.) MIB & Show are really even funnier together.) I read that in making Reno 911, Thomas Lennon et al were originally going to have trad comedy sketches in between the "Cops" scenes. When they started shooting they saw the the police scenes were far more engaging than the sketches. I thought the same thing about M&M- the funniest parts were the behind the scenes look at the M&M show as well as the M&M standup (College) -- including both Michaels talking to their "studio
audience." Comedy Central is not the place, though. IFC seems to be airing shows that other cable networks don't "get." HBO desperately needs something like M&M with Curb ending it's run. And even Starz might air an original series like that- (without censors)- as someone who has watched those six episodes numerous times, I just want to say, I think it's too good to give up on. Please, MIB, have your agents
pitch the show elsewhere! You weren't wrong about it. It's got the unique hilarity of a Fawlty Towers. And the format of an ongoing series (as in Curb) is perfect for yours and Showalter's comedy. Is there any hope?
Posted by: Claudia | December 08, 2010 at 01:50 PM
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
You: herrooo
You: i represent Omegle
Stranger: You are lying
You: no don't listen to that thing up there
You: i totally represent omegle
Stranger: What's Omegles middle name?
You: google
Stranger: Wow..you are Omegle
You: i told you
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
Posted by: lawls | December 09, 2010 at 07:46 PM
I tried to read this to my husband. It didn't work aurally. That's the beauty. You're so good at writing things that can't be explained. "Why is that funny?" "Can't explain it. You just have to read it." "But I don't want to read it" "Then you're missing out."
You're my favorite secret Michael :)
Posted by: Jaime | December 27, 2010 at 10:36 AM
That last sentence was hot Jaime.
However, in my mind I am making the following changes:
1. The smiley face is not at the end of the sentence.
2. The word "Michael" isn't in that sentence, either.
3. The sentence is actually a private message I received FROM Michael to me.
Posted by: Reen | December 28, 2010 at 12:12 PM
Hey look, Billy Corgan's hair is growing back.
Posted by: Jay Leno | December 29, 2010 at 05:23 AM
there are a lot of penises on omegle. i'm not using a euphemism. i literally saw lots and lots of penises on omegle. guys will just but the camera on their cocks. fyi
Posted by: sarah bell | March 22, 2011 at 02:16 PM
I never knew what the site was until reading Black's funny blog posting. I go on there and the first video conversation (with a stranger) was just a man's flicking his penis with his fingers. (It looked like it would hurt). I decided to disconnect.
Posted by: Todd | March 25, 2011 at 04:40 PM
You've know idea how much time this has saved me in the forums thanks so much !
Posted by: erbe | March 30, 2011 at 01:51 AM
PMSL!! I must try one of those. If I do, I shall come and post it on here, to let you know how I got on!
Posted by: Nathan Caton | April 04, 2011 at 09:32 AM
Your article is very appealing to me.
Posted by: Jeremy Scott | May 10, 2011 at 05:54 AM
I shall come and post it on here, to let you know how I got on!
Posted by: birkenstock shoes | May 26, 2011 at 04:16 AM
:) Son of a beach (Italian in malta : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EMuE-y57BUE )
Posted by: Kasku | May 28, 2011 at 11:26 AM
I don't think the mayor will appreciate that he is spending his time tearing down these signs all over the city
Posted by: chanel outlet online | June 17, 2011 at 09:59 PM
lovin this site.
Posted by: UGG | June 28, 2011 at 04:05 AM