I’ve noticed that whenever people want to make funny American Indian names they tend to just put together an active verb with a noun taken from nature: “Sleeps with Rabbit,” for example. Or “Walks In Cow Shit.” Things like that. Well frankly, I feel like that formula is demeaning and totally played out. Therefore I believe it’s time to give serious consideration to creating a new paradigm for funny Native American names.
The obvious way to go would be to use casino gaming as a foundation. “Chief Many Slots,” comes to mind, but this seems too easy and, frankly, cheap. Instead, I propose taking a more subtle approach. Here’s an example: “Bill Richards.” Admittedly, on its surface Bill Richards doesn’t seem like a particularly funny name. After all, there are probably millions of Bill Richards out there, some of them probably of Native American descent. But when you add the visual component of a pair of over-sized moccasins and (here’s where it gets really funny) a headdress made out of rubber chickens, I think you begin to see the comedic possibilities.
Another example: Susan Worth. Not funny? Now picture Susan wearing a papoose. Inside the papoose? A DODO BIRD!!!
Try this one on for size: a young Native American prince. His name? Robert O’Malley. ‘Nuff said.
Or what about a family of Native Americans named the Redwings? What’s hilarious about this is that there’s also a hockey team called the Red Wings! Now picture that American Indian family all ice skating. The joke obviously being that there’s no tradition of ice skating in Native American culture. Good stuff.
I could go on and on, but the point of this blog wasn’t to list ALL of the funny new Native American names I could think of, merely to point the way so that you, my readers, American Indian and not, can think of some of your own. I can do it – canoe? Get it? Canoe, can you?