I Am The Hot Slut of the Month
You can read all about it here
Until very recently I didn't know there was such thing as Hot Slut of the Day, Week, or Month. Furthermore, had I known, I don't think I would have considered myself a viable candidate for said honor. The word "hot" has rarely been applied to me. The word "slut" - never (except for a few weeks in eighth grade). So I find myself perplexed and a little touched to be June's Hot Slut of the Month. I do not know what my official duties will entail, but I imagine they will be very dirty. So be it. I am willing and able to perform all manner of filth.
Like Miss America, I plan on devoting my reign this month to a charitable cause. I haven't chosen my charity yet, but I think it might be something having to do with penguins. I know penguins aren't very slutty by nature, but they're awfully cute. The way they keep those penguin eggs warm between their feet? Adorable. Maybe I could combine penguins with something a little sexier, like orphans. I mean, I know that technically orphans aren't that sexy, but when you consider that orphans are usually the byproduct of sex, then I think you see where I'm heading. Maybe I could start a program where I bring penguins and orphans together. If it's enough orphans and enough penguins, that could be kind of slutty.
Anyway, presumably I will now also be in contention for Hot Slut of the Year. I don't know if it's too early to start casting your votes for that, but if I win I promise to do unspeakable things to all of you via web cam.
(such a slut)
I voted for you! Congrats!
Posted by: Just A Girl | July 11, 2008 at 03:28 PM
I didnt vote for you. But then again Im lazy.
congrats, I think.
Posted by: m~ | July 11, 2008 at 03:55 PM
Rightly deserved, you slut!
Posted by: Susanna | July 11, 2008 at 04:03 PM
i'm not gay, but i'd dip my balls in him.
Posted by: R_Bishop | July 11, 2008 at 04:09 PM
I voted for you! Many many times and blogged about voting for you. I don't think you actually get anything, but I figured this could be something you put on your resume. It'll look really good to all those future employers.
Posted by: Julie | July 11, 2008 at 04:17 PM
Your kids must be proud.
Posted by: Zane | July 11, 2008 at 04:17 PM
I was gonna vote for you, but I don't think the poll was up at the time or something, then I forgot about it. But I'm glad you won!
Posted by: molly | July 11, 2008 at 04:20 PM
Show us your tits!
Posted by: Reen | July 11, 2008 at 04:24 PM
Mmm, you certainly do deserve to be the hot slut of the month. Go you.
Posted by: Selena | July 11, 2008 at 04:31 PM
ha! I love it you funny, funny man.
Posted by: Viva La Lohan | July 11, 2008 at 04:46 PM
it's better than being the cold slut of the month...
Posted by: attila the honey | July 11, 2008 at 04:51 PM
Sorry, can't get over your wonk eye.
Posted by: Migraineuse | July 11, 2008 at 04:57 PM
O' did I vote for you! uh about 5000 times. You deserve it. You Hot Slut !
Posted by: saintchick | July 11, 2008 at 04:57 PM
sorry i always thought you were gay...just read on your info you're married with kids...then again....
Posted by: laura | July 11, 2008 at 05:05 PM
and congrats on the hot slut of the month...DLISTED is the church i choose to worship daily.
Posted by: laura | July 11, 2008 at 05:06 PM
I voted for the teenage Japanese tranny pop-singer... for obvious reasons... but you would have been my second choice. Congrats!
Posted by: BangoSkank | July 11, 2008 at 05:07 PM
Congrats!You deserve the title!
Especially because of your name:
M.I. Black
Posted by: Huriyki | July 11, 2008 at 05:09 PM
The irony being, of course, that most penguins are monogamous. For shame, Michael.
Posted by: HeatherNumber1 | July 11, 2008 at 05:12 PM
LOVE that you wrote a response to Michael K! Seems his Hot Slut feature (hee hee or according to Phoebe Price "Hot Babe") is gaining more notoriety all the time. I was very happy when he chose to put you up there, voted for ya a few times!
Posted by: Winners Use Drugs | July 11, 2008 at 05:16 PM
Micheal Ian Black for Hot Slut of The Year, all the way. I hope you actually honor your promises, and don't leave us hanging. Because I will curse your name and your penguins.
Posted by: BerlinBetty | July 11, 2008 at 05:17 PM
To be honest I had no idea who you were until you graced the pages of Dlisted nor did I vote for you. But hey, look up, you're funny and cute in a serial killer type of way so that's gotta count for something..right?
Posted by: Jenny | July 11, 2008 at 05:21 PM
I voted for you!!! YAY!!
Have a super slutty month sexy :P
Posted by: JulieAndrews | July 11, 2008 at 05:22 PM
I was raped by a penguin. I don't find this funny at all.
Posted by: Jason | July 11, 2008 at 05:26 PM
Oh, YES!
I touch my no no bits while I watch you on VH1...shhh!
Stop teasing me Michael...
Posted by: I_Luv_VH1 | July 11, 2008 at 05:26 PM
MICHAELLLLLL!!!!
GUH..Will you marry me???
I Love Youuuuu!! ^_^
Posted by: like_OMG | July 11, 2008 at 05:29 PM